legendairy

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Story Time with Montefiore

thaliab:

MY GOD

oh my god

let me tell you

i had this image of it as this super nerdy place where people go to do math

but it’s so chill

my tour guide was this super bubbly girl from pakistan who was double majoring in poli sci and econ which is like my life plan

and does a lot of model UN

and is basically me with a vagina

so like

i got in to chicago saturday afternoon at like 4

max met my dad and i at the airport and we all went to white castle

and then we went to my lake house and spent the night

and then took the train into chicago in the morning

went to his hotel dumped my crap

had lunch with some junior friends

and then went to lollaaa

andddddd

ok

so first we saw portugal the man

which was relaly good but super trippy

so then we went to airborne toxic event

2ND ROW BITCHEZZZ

ROCKED out

they played a new song

it was goood

then we met up with caroline cuse

and went to gang gang dance with her friends

and stayed for like 10 minutes because it was kinda shitty

then went to perry’s which was like this electro stage

oh my god

this was like perry’s ‘lite’

like we stayed like 10 rows back

and saw the hood internet

which is the same sort of mashup deal as girl talk etc. except reallllllly funnn

so that was super super chill

then vampire weekend

VAMPIRE WEEKENDDDD

I WAS 20 FEET FROM EZRA KOENIG

he is a goddddd

anyway that was amazing and they played like 3 new songs

and then max left because he’s a pussy

it was really hot though, he was tired and headachy

but wait

then it gets crazy

so i went to catch the second half of passion pit

which was to die for

so bombbbb

AND THEN IT REALLY GOT CRAZY

because i went back to perry’s

for boys noize

and then

and i rocked outtttt for like an hour and made my way to the front

and then MSTRKRFT came on

and OH MY GOD

i was in the second row

400 million people pushing from behind me

and it was so sweaty and i said fuck it and unbuttoned the shirt

and it was this giant gyrating mob

so shmexual

meanwhile it’s like 90 degrees out

deathly humid

blerghhh

so mstrkrft was insaaaane

then i was like

ok

this is beyond fun and now uncomfy

after like 2 hours

so since i was at the front there was no way i was getting out the back

so i had to hop the fence over to the grassy area by the stage

and the bouncer helped me out

but in the process i lost one flip flop

white havaiana?

yes….. R.I.P.

its a sad day

they will be replaced with another pair of white havaianas though it’s ok

so at this point

i’m this nasty sweaty muddy shoeless dude with one button buttoned on his shirt

and my balls hurttttttt

i don’t know why….

so i was like

fuck the killers

can’t top mstrkrft

and i got a cab back to the hotel

and i’m like walking through the lobby of the peninsula

looking like i just came out of a dumpster or some shit

i got so many dirty looks

so i get to the room

and max and i ordered literally 200 dollars worth of room service

ohhhh yeah

a kobe burger with foie gras for me

sirloin burger for him

milkshakes for both

two orders of fries with blue cheese sauce

a baguette and melted goat cheese

it was sooo good

so while we were waiting for that i took a hot shower because i was not presentable

and then i realized like

shit

i have no shoes or clean pants

i have to college tour tomorrow

so i called my dad who was driving into town to stay with his sister for the night

and iw as lik

yo

pants

and he dropped by the hotel and dropped off some pants for me

and then i was like

shit

shoes

and he didn’t have any

so i walked to the walgreens in my spa slippers from the room

and all they had were like baby-sized pink flip flops

and i was like

f my life

so i tried to google another walgreens except my phone was being cunty still is it doesn’t really work

so i went to the concierge

and i was like

yo

where do i buy flip flops

so she googled another walgreens for me

and i went and bought my $1.64 flip flops (women’s btw, at least they fit, don’t laugh, kthxbai)

and so i had clothes

and went college touring looking a little ridiculous

but clothed!

le wilderness

it’s weird being off the grid. for the past couple weeks i’ve been at my cabin in norcal. it’s 13 miles outside of a small town called chester (pop 2,300). they don’t plow the road in the winter so it’s really only a summer place unless you want to snowmobile up, and the electrical lines stop running about 3 miles out of town. we have a generator for nighttime, water straight from the spring up the mountain, and no telephone service, cellular or landline. it’s peaceful… but isolated. on sunday night i drove down to SF with some friends for a few days to get away but mostly to see coldplay (transcendental). my time up here has been a nice interlude, we’ve been off-roading and swimming in snowmelt streams and hiking, but i NEED my city. it’ll be nice to have the 405 and 3G back when i get back to town on saturday night, but i’ll miss the lawlessness of the high sierra.

see you soon, LA.

weekend for the ages

this weekend i hit up my fave tea spot (jin patisserie) on abbot kinney twice in two days. i’ve been going there since like 7th grade and the same hispanic guy who’s run the waitstaff since day one knows me and loves me (probs because i take everyone i know there.)

i got my summer haircut finally (1/3 of the way into summer? really?)

i bought a where the wild things are tshirt… highlight?

i hit up intelligentsia on abbot kinney for the first time: they have not one but TWO $11,000 clovers and make the best espresso concoctions in this city

blogworthy “if i got hangovers this would be a hangover breakfast” at the phenomenally green (literally… not like environmentally friendly…) and classically los angeles patrick’s roadhouse

if my car had an ‘openometer’ like the new mini convertible to measure top-down driving time, it would be reading ALWAYS right now. except i don’t have a convertible. but i do have a sunroof.

amazing apples to apples… next time with vodka/apple cocktails. best idea ever?

i ran into an old elementary school classmate at the palisades starbucks… trippy?

three days before that i ran into an even OLDER elementary school BFF at joan’s on third… trippier???

LA’s big.. but everyone hangs out in the same spots. the fact that i know my flower guy at the sunday farmers’ market and the tea guy at jin and that i can run into two elementary school classmates in four days in this town reminds me that mega-metropolises can be and are weirdly intimate places.

i am also seriously seriously considering a one-day pass to lollapalooza in august… i will be conveniently in town and the lineup is INCREDIGOOD. and one day is 80 bucks instead of like 200. less do ittt